I think this has been one of the most common themes that I have put it in my LJ, things when I come to analyze what is the truth. Many times when things were either thought logically or perhaps put into perspective, some things that we take for granted that it is is actually isn’t, yet once you understood a little bit more about it, it is again; then there’s times you found new evidence that raises doubt, you doubt that it is anymore.
Ah! The fickleness of the mind.
And the thing is that subjectivity will never will be objective: the multitude of perspectives derived from myriads of experiences of different people make common terms of emotions having subtle differences beneath all similarity that was touted to be. It’s almost like you either understood how the others feel (through a hunch or visual hints, if they give out any body language at all) or you don’t. And probably I’d say so be it that way.
But sort of flipping through this “scrapbook” full of the stuff that I had, trying to remember the sort of emotions that I had in the past, it did made me rethink of what is actually the meaning behind all the emotions: happiness, sadness, anger, love, hate, fear, pain, joy, ecstasy… As said, subjectivity may never be objective, and thinking about it made me thought why at one time I was once sure that I understood what love is, yet another I start to waver and forget. As we grow up, we always wanted better and better things, I suppose when we had reached a certain plane of achievement, it’s hard to understand and relish what’s was once enjoyed when we are poor and simple? Is it the way it is?
Looking at the situation now, it’s not that hard to see that throughout the whole growing process, we start to attach “labels” to things that we chose to identify ourselves with. It may not be just “things”, it may have been certain actions or outcomes that we desired. In a way, we start to develop “expectation” in our own lives, as a consequence of avoiding certain things and/or experiences that brought us outcomes that we didn’t want (mainly sadness and pain, but yet, it may have been more complex to some situations when subconsciously one desires to be hurt… but that’s a topic that I’m not going to discuss here).
Is it just typically… human? Probably that is an instinct that we adapted via our in-born capability to fight for survival… but was it really justifiable, in a logical sense? After all, we had a matter of life and death on one side and another that only bring us emotional anguish and probably undesirable physical discomfort/pain?
Looking through it, we are starting to shift our focus from a more physical plane to a more emotional one.
But coming back, probably by a tendency of habit development, we start to live more through convenience, and likely without noticing, we start to cling more towards the past. Despite such human tendency does make our lives more easier, yet should we forget about appreciating and relishing things like simple things in the present and changes to our environment… somehow I just felt that it’s much easier to grow old than matured. Probably it’s just all about balance, I suppose?